Beginnings

From high school until I was about to turn 30, I practiced yoga off and on at various studios, purely because I considered yoga a form of exercise.  I wanted to be in shape, but have never been a sporty person.  Yoga was, simply put, accessible to me.  So let me set the stage for what changed.

It was the holidays — go figure.  I was tired of feeling like a sad sack of potatoes everyday.  I wasn’t doing anything for my physical or mental well-being.  I drank a bunch out of boredom or whatever it was.  (I am still figuring that out.)  I was in a dead end relationship, and I was working diligently on building my legacy of being borderline broke and sorry for myself.  My main source of pleasure was socialization…more importantly, the attention acquired while socializing.  A kind of pitiful way to live, really, as attention is conditional and the impression it leaves temporary.  So I decided to join a gym.  A decision based on convenience and budgetary limitations, truthfully.  I quickly started going every day, though, with a kind of dedication that I never had before.  And this is truly where the seed was planted and growth began to occur.

Here’s the thing about beginnings: there isn’t one until you truly want one.  We are all guilty of flirting with the idea of new beginnings without making the commitment.  Who doesn’t spend time casually thinking about being Someone, Anyone, whatever it is, by doing.  If I do this or that enough, I’ll be this.  No one else can give you that desire to be by doing.  Inspiration is everywhere, but you’ve got to formulate the desire yourself.

The next reality is the hardest for most people, though.  It’s the simple truth that your “doing” is not always going to be enjoyable.  You’re going to hate doing sometimes.  You’re going to come up with endless reasons an endless amount of times as to why you need to not be “doing” or maybe shouldn’t be “doing” today, tomorrow, or next Sunday.  This is where willpower must be cultivated.  Thanks to neuroplasticity, strengthening your willpower will, over time, become a part of who you are.  I’m not saying you can eliminate these — so to speak — bad days, but you will get better at keeping them in check.  For me, I find that if I just keep moving, if I just keep going, and I don’t stop to entertain those thoughts about doing and just DO, I’m better at accomplishing and feel happier leading up to the “doing.”